Okay, deep breath, let's get this over with. In the grand act of digital self-sabotage, we've littered this site with cookies. Yep, we did that. Why? So your highness can have a 'premium' experience or whatever. These traitorous cookies hide in your browser, eagerly waiting to welcome you back like a guilty dog that's just chewed your favorite shoe. And, if that's not enough, they also tattle on which parts of our sad little corner of the web you obsess over. Feels dirty, doesn't it?
Confessional Booth of Our Digital Sins
Non-negotiable Digital Breadcrumbs
These Non-negotiable Digital Breadcrumbs need to be tolerated at all times so we can pretend to remember your oh-so-important cookie demands.
Opt out? Cool. Just know, every time you sneak back here, you'll be stuck in the endless loop of toggling these pesky things on and off. That's on you!
Uninvited Guests' Crumbs
Yeah, we’ve let Google Analytics creep around here, spying on stuff like visitor counts and which pages get the most love (or hate).
If you’re feeling charitable, leave this cookie on. It feeds our delusion that we can make this site better. Go on, pity us.
Hey, do us a solid: Tolerate these Non-negotiable Digital Breadcrumbs first, so we can at least pretend to care about your choices!
The Half-Baked Cookie Manifesto
- Introduction: Welcome to our cookie confessional. If you're expecting a delightful baking recipe, you're about to be sorely disappointed. Instead, here's the messy digital trail we leave as you snoop—ahem, browse—around.
- The Basics: Little digital spies that, in an ironic twist, even we, the guardians of cyberspace, deploy. These crumbs do stuff, like 'enhance user experience.' That's geek-speak for "makes things less shitty."
- The Ones We Can't Live Without:
- Non-negotiable Digital Breadcrumbs. These are basically our site’s life support. Without them, expect a Groundhog Day scenario every time you visit—endlessly re-setting preferences and wondering where it all went wrong.
- The Stalkers We Invited:
- Uninvited Guests' Crumbs. Google Analytics sneaks around here, spying on stuff like how many of you there are, and which pages you lurk on. All in the hopes we can pretend to understand what you want.
- Managing These Treacherous Treats: Feel like being in control? Venture into your browser settings and conduct your own cookie purge. But remember, every time you do, a digital cookie fairy loses its wings. Or something like that.
- Any Changes? Sometimes, in our bouts of self-loathing, we update this manifesto. Mostly to up our snark game. So, maybe come back and cry—err, check—every once in a while?
- Need to Complain?If our betrayal via cookies is too much to bear, and you wish to vent, slide into our contact page. Prepare for our sarcastic appreciation of your insights.
By continuing to use this tragic excuse for a website, you're either forgiving our cookie sins or too lazy to navigate away. Either way, cheers!