Cyber Siege: UnitedHealth’s $872 Million Ransomware Drama Ends with Payout

UnitedHealth coughed up ransom dough to shush cyber-thieves from spilling patient secrets. Even with $872M in cyber-boo-boos, they’re patching up data leaks faster than a doc with a suture kit. #RansomwareRuckus

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Who knew healthcare could get more painful than stepping on a LEGO? UnitedHealth Group just took the Hippocratic Oath to a whole new level: "First, do no harm...unless you're hacked, then just throw money at the problem." Paying off cybercriminals might just be the new co-pay in this twisted game of digital doctor and patient.

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The Nimble Nerd
Confessional Booth of Our Digital Sins

Okay, deep breath, let's get this over with. In the grand act of digital self-sabotage, we've littered this site with cookies. Yep, we did that. Why? So your highness can have a 'premium' experience or whatever. These traitorous cookies hide in your browser, eagerly waiting to welcome you back like a guilty dog that's just chewed your favorite shoe. And, if that's not enough, they also tattle on which parts of our sad little corner of the web you obsess over. Feels dirty, doesn't it?