Okay, deep breath, let's get this over with. In the grand act of digital self-sabotage, we've littered this site with cookies. Yep, we did that. Why? So your highness can have a 'premium' experience or whatever. These traitorous cookies hide in your browser, eagerly waiting to welcome you back like a guilty dog that's just chewed your favorite shoe. And, if that's not enough, they also tattle on which parts of our sad little corner of the web you obsess over. Feels dirty, doesn't it?
Cyber Siege: Ascension Healthcare Grapples with Possible Ransomware Nightmare
Ascension’s day just got hacked! Cyber miscreants have thrown a wrench into the healthcare provider’s systems, triggering a “cybersecurity event” that has partners scrambling for their notepads. Ransomware rumors swirl as Ascension and Mandiant play digital detectives. Stay tuned for updates—no confirmation yet, but the plot (and possibly the malware) thickens.

Hot Take:
Oh, Ascension got a cyber ouchie! It's like the universe is playing a twisted game of Duck, Duck, Ransomware Goose with healthcare providers, and Ascension is the latest "lucky" goose. We've got more hospitals on tech life support thanks to our hoodie-wearing digital delinquents. Code Blue for cybersecurity, stat!